Healing From Within; A Journey Through Trauma
by Candice Erickson-Perham founder of Indiglow Soul, Healer
In May 2018, I had a profound realization—a part of my childhood trauma, long buried and forgotten, surfaced. It was like a ripple, one that began to unravel layers I hadn’t even known I was carrying. And then, in December 2020, another wave hit, bringing more memories and emotions to light. Here I am, November 2024, still peeling back layers, still uncovering the impact of those hidden scars. Healing isn’t linear, and sometimes, it feels like it never ends.
But I’m learning that every step, no matter how painful, is part of reclaiming my life.
- If you’re a people pleaser, I see you.
- If you feel lost in codependency, I see you.
- If boundaries are hard for you to set, I see you.
- If your weight fluctuates with your emotions, I see you.
- If you carry physical pain, anxiety, or struggle with depression, I see you.
- If you cry at "anything," feeling it all too deeply, I see you.
I see you, because I am and have been all of those things, too.
The Shame and Protection of Trauma
Why was there so much shame in acknowledging my abuse? Why couldn’t I remember what had happened? Why was I blaming myself? These questions spin through my mind and body as I have tried to make sense of it all. I learned that while my mind might forget, my body doesn’t. It remembers and clings to every hurt, protecting itself the only way it knows how. For me, that protection comes as extra weight—a barrier between me and the world. My logical brain knows none of it was my fault, but my body is still learning to let go.
The Hardest Part: Learning Self-Love
Healing, I’ve found, takes courage. It’s nonlinear, messy, and it requires facing parts of ourselves we didn’t even know were hurting.
The hardest part? Learning to love myself. It sounds so simple, but for years, I put everyone else first, neglecting my own needs and desires. I didn’t even realize I was doing it. Trauma does that—it teaches you to survive by putting yourself last. Once I started learning about trauma and its effects, I realized that loving myself was essential, yet also the hardest part of my journey. I had to start small, choosing safe moments to put myself first, learning to speak up with people I trusted, and eventually, building the strength to honor my needs in all situations.
Today, self-love and boundaries are still a work in progress, but each time I choose myself, I heal a little more.
Steps Toward Healing
Here are some of the things that have helped me rediscover love for myself and reclaim my life:
Energy work – Clearing the layers of others’ energy has helped me see myself more clearly, like cleaning a smudged lens.
Embracing my spiritual side – Connecting with my spirit team and ancestors reminds me of the strength within me.
Learning about my empathic gifts – Understanding my sensitivity has allowed me to tap into what I like, dislike, and who I truly am.
Curiosity about life – I’ve begun exploring how I want to live, not just how I think I’m supposed to.
Reading and learning about trauma – Understanding trauma’s ripple effect across my life has given me new perspectives and tools for healing.
Recognizing my power to make choices – Even when those choices are hard and may hurt others, I now know that choosing myself is not only okay—it’s necessary.
Practicing compassion for myself – I hold space for everything I’ve been through, honoring my journey with grace and kindness.
If my words resonate with you, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for whatever pain you’ve carried and for the ways it may have changed you. But please know—you’re not alone. I see you, and there is a way through this. Healing is possible, and you deserve every ounce of peace it brings.
You can reach out to me at candice@indiglowsoul.com
This blogpost was originally posted on Indiglow Soul and has been shared at the express consent of the original author.
Learn more about and how to work with Indiglow Soul and Candice here!
Please note that the blogpost above does not represent the thoughts or opinions of Fresh Start Registry and solely represents the original author’s perspective.